Treading Water
by X Moonchik
Summary: With her sisters dead at the hands of Cole, Phoebe sits in an mental institution. But is she safe? With Leo 'gone' and Cole plotting to get her, what will happen?
1. Prologue

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A/N : This is a repost but now I've developed this into something more than just this prologue.

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Treading Water -Prologue

She sat in the middle of the room, her legs pulled up to her chest and hands clasped around them. If you looked carefully you could see a slight rocking motion as she moved slowly backwards and forwards. Yet looking into her eyes you could see that they were glazed over and distant.

This room had become her home; she hadn't ventured out of it in almost a year. For a moment she came out of her thoughts, where it was safe, only to remember the harsh reality that was her life. No, this wasn't the 'real' reality, this was a place where everything had gone wrong and all of her loved ones had abandoned her in some way or another.

Retreating into her thoughts was the only way she could mould life into a form that was acceptable to her. Where her sisters where still alive and Prue had never been killed by Shax. She had lived on and met their long lost half sister Paige, in her mind life was perfect nothing could destroy it. It was only herself that could do that, she had a little tormenting voice in her mind, which uttered the truth to her. The truth that she did not want to hear. She would go into fits of rage where she'd scream things 

incoherently and argue with herself until the doctors would come in, restrain her and give her a calming drug or two.

Looking around her room - was it really her room, she didn't exactly own it, it was just a place they forced her to live since it happened and she became lost in her mind - it was bare, the walls were a sheer white colour. There was nothing else in the room apart from a bed and a poor excuse for a toilet. They wouldn't allow her to have anything sharp in case she harmed herself or one of the workers. 

The thought of actually hurting one of the workers amused her a little. They were innocents and being a Charmed One you couldn't go around harming those who were not demons, could you? She laughed a little at her own musings. She was her own entertainment. Her own TV, video and movie. There was no one else to keep her occupied but herself and her thoughts.

On the other hand not all her thoughts were so entertaining. At least once a day her thoughts would loop back round to the day which had sent over the edge. That day which had sent her into the never ending spiral which now encompassed her. If she had only listened to her sisters, they would still be here and they would still be protecting the world from evil. It was her fault Prue had died. She had insisted on going to the underworld to save him. Because of her, when Shax attacked she wasn't there to say the spell and weaken him, because of her Leo wasn't there in time to save both of her sisters. So she came to the only conclusion she could, it was her fault even though Piper had taken the blame upon herself when really her sister was too blinded by grief to notice that it was in fact her.

'If only' those words carried little meaning anymore. She had uttered them so many times in the last year that they no longer sounded like words, just a jumbled mess of letters. It didn't matter how many times she said those words it didn't do a thing to change what had happened. Her sisters and Leo were still dead. Nothing was going to change that no matter how much time she spent that reality she had conjured where everything was fine.

Her mind flashed back to the day in question. It had all happened so suddenly. One minute she was talking with her sisters in the living room of the manor they shared and the next there were pools of blood everywhere. She had been to shocked to do anything and watched as the bodies of her sisters had fallen limply to the ground. She had watched as they had taken their last breath at the hands of her once lover. He had told her he did it out of love, that if he couldn't have her no one would acquaint her. It was only Leo's swift actions, which had saved her. He had managed to orb her to safety before her once soul mate 'swept' her away to be his love, forcefully no less.

After that incident she considered Leo dead. She thought maybe it was he who had brought her here for as much her safety as his. Since that day she hadn't heard a word or an orb from Leo. For all she knew he had clipped his wings and was wallowing in self-pity somewhere planning vengeance for his fallen wife.

She began to shake her head slowly. No, facing this reality was too much; it caused too much pain and sorrow. She wasn't ready to accept that she was alone in the world now. Alone in stepping up to the truth that she couldn't bare to deal with. This world was not as favourable as her world, in that world nothing like this had ever been conceived as happening. With a final sob she retreated into that world for the last time.


	2. Part 1

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Treading Water-Part 1

The manor no longer looked like it once was. There were bits and bobs lying all over the place, smashed crockery, broken furniture, cracked photo frames containing memories of what once was. Of course the reason for it being in such as state was due to the fact that she was no longer around to tidy the place and more to the point because he saw no reason to take care of it.  
  
Leo lay on the bed, on his right side facing away from the door. He was looking at her photograph, staring endlessly into her eyes, wishing he could see them light up once more. This was a part of his daily routine, he would fall in and out of the waking world then he'd lie staring at her picture, nothing more, nothing less.  
  
He rolled over hearing the familiar call again; the familiar voice in his head, telling him his presence was required. Although he would not be answering them, he hadn't answered them in months, ever since he had left her at that place and given up on his calling. There was no point to it any more, the love of his life was gone, there was no worth in living anymore. The only reason he hadn't had his wings clipped and thrown himself off of the nearest bridge was because he had not avenged her death yet, but he would, it was only a matter of time.  
  
Again the voice rang in his head; they would not let him be. Sitting up, he stared at the ceiling as if he could see through it, as if he could see them.  
  
Taking in an angry breath he spoke, "Why wont you leave me alone?" Struggling, he pulled himself off of the bed to his feet. He stumbled a little and looked skyward again, "do you not get it? I don't answer to you anymore. I never will. Never again."  
  
He glanced down for a moment and shook his head before looking up again, "I don't get you, you're meant to be all powerful yet you couldn't prevent it, you couldn't warn them!"   
  
He walked unsteadily towards the window and stared out of it, a bemused smile crossed his face and he laughed a little, "Couldn't warn her. If you're meant to be powerful then why? She was right, she was right about you, you're useless, good for nothing!"  
  
Shaking his head once more he turned, looking back at the bed he once shared with Piper, "I'm not looking after her anymore, she's safe where she is, safe from everything."  
  
Leo then walked slowly back towards the bed and fell onto it; "All I want is to be left alone. Isn't it clear by now that I wont come, that I wont do your work anymore. Just leave me alone!"  
  
Sighing once they had stopped calling he picked it back up. Manoeuvring onto his back he stared at the picture. "You had such a pretty smile." He murmured to himself. "So beautiful, so full of life." He took in a breath, "Then it was taken from you by..." He stopped short as he began to weep a little. The tears slowly making their way down his face, he took in a breath and let out a loud sob. 

Leo put a hand to the picture, "Shhh don't cry, don't cry, "He whispered, stroking the photograph lightly, "I'll make everything right, don't worry, soon everything will be all right." At that he brought the photo down to meet his lips and kissed it lightly, before pulling it away slowly, staring at it.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~   
  
Laris took in a breath and let it out slowly, it was one of those prolonged, drawn out sighs. He didn't want to be here. Why did he have to be chosen for this assignment, Why him? He never wanted to be stuck babysitting her. As far as he was concerned she was a complete loony tune. Laris couldn't understand why he wanted her watched.  
  
He raised his clipboard and took a pen from his pocket to make it look as if he was doing something. Turning to the door he peered in through the small window, observing. She was lying, curled up in a little ball. It looked as if she was sleeping but he guessed she was probably in that little world she had screamed about so often, wishing it was real.  
  
This world she muttered of, interested him and he knew it would interest Cole. Yes it certainly would. He'd want to know all about his former lover's little escape. How although she was still suffering, she had found a temporary way to escape it. No, that definitely won't please him, Laris thought to himself.  
  
Glancing around Laris saw that there was no one about. He looked through the glass one last time and smiled wickedly, "enjoy your dream world while you can girlie." He whispered viciously, staring at her slight form on the floor. With one last check for another presence he disappeared in a vale of crimson smoke.

  



	3. Part 2

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Treading Water-Part 2

Slowly she became aware of the brightness around her. Opening her eyes she squinted, the light stinging her retina until she couldn't bare it any longer and was forced to shut it once more.

Phoebe pulled herself up painfully slow. Her muscles were protesting against this unscheduled movement. They ached with stiffness. She had not moved properly in weeks. Preferring to stay in the one spot, journeying only from that site when it was necessary.

After a few moments she tried again, carrying out the action of opening her eyes even more slowly as if testing the water. This time it didn't hurt so much and Phoebe glanced around herself. The truth of where she was, yet again, hit her with the force of a hurricane blasting the shores of Florida. 

She was back. Back in that awful white room, where her sisters were no longer with her and she was doomed to a life of solitude. She hated it here. Being here, being aware of her situation gave her too much time to think. Too much time to be alone with herself, alone with her thoughts, alone with the part of her mind she dreaded.

Why? Phoebe asked herself. Why must she always come back here? Why couldn't she stay in her world? It was perfect. But it seemed some part of herself would not allow her to achieve that perfection.

Suddenly she felt something warm running down her face. She pulled a hand away from her cheek and saw it was wet. It was then she realised she was crying. Looking down she saw a tear hit the floor. Phoebe watched with fascination as more tears began to drop and hit the floor with a faint splash. Watching this phenomenon she questioned why she had begun to cry. Soon she came to the conclusion it was because she had woken up again. Phoebe wished, hoped, prayed for the moment where she'd never have to wake up again. The moment she'd never have to face what she had caused. The eternal darkness was her dream.

Turning to face the door of her 'room' she began to rock back and forth a little. It was then that Phoebe allowed herself to surrender to her emotions. She let out one long heartbreaking sob, burying her face in her arms which were sitting horizontally across her knees and cried into them She cried for having to think about that day again and her now miserable existence. 

When would this nightmare end? She thought. "When!" Phoebe screamed at the top of her lungs before shrinking into a weeping wreck on the floor. 

~ ~ ~ ~ 

Laris appeared in the darkened penthouse in the same crimson vale he had exited the asylum in. The windows had the curtains drawn over them so there was very little light entering the room. The floor was a mess as was the place overall, it had not been tidied in a long while. Laris almost jumped out of his skin when a voice from behind him spoke.

"What did you see this time? Was she... did she go back to that... place again?"

Laris whirled around and saw that it was Cole whom the voice belonged to. His 'boss' looked as though he had been dragged through a bush backward severl times. His hair was dishevelled and his face had not seen a razor in a long while. 'This obsession has become unhealthy' he thought to himself darkly.

"Well?" Cole asked impatiently narrowing his eyes slightly at Laris.

Laris sighed, "To answer your question; yes she did go back to that little world of hers. She was there when I left I suppose."

Cole let out a breath angrily. How dare she create some other place for herself? How dare she. Phoebe was meant to be suffering but instead she had found a way to temporally escape this. He grabbed the nearest thing to him, which happened to be the vase on the glass table and threw it. The vase narrowly missed Laris' head, shooting past him and shattering on wall above the mantel, taking the mirror with it.

"Hmm that's seven years bad luck, " Laris thought aloud and looked at Cole who was breathing heavily a little way from him. "Well... that is if you believe in that sort of thing." He shrugged lightly.

Still enraged from the revelation about Phoebe, Cole surged forward grabbing hold of Laris by the collar. He spun him around, lifting him slightly from the ground and shoved him onto the table. 

Cole leaned forward, so his face was almost touching Laris'. "Do I have to remind you why you are still around? The only reason I haven't turned you into a pile of dust is because I need your power."

Laris looked into Cole's eyes and saw madness, instability and a passion for revenge. There was no doubt in his mind that if he wasn't actually still useful Cole would've torched him a long time ago. He sighed tiredly. He'd been through this routine with Cole countless times before and it was becoming tedious. The slightest thing would send the former Source over the edge. So he wasn't going to risk his neck by pointing out to Cole that he had in fact just reminded the demon of the reason why he was, indeed still breathing. "No, you do not have to remind me. I know full well the reason you are keeping me around."

Cole loosened his hold on Laris a little but kept the closeness of their faces. "Good. Now don't make me have to remind you yet again" With that Cole stood up, taking Laris with him and then pushed him roughly away before turning around and taking a few steps forward.

Now released Laris fixed the collar of his shirt and then looked at Cole once more "when would you like me to start?"

A smile spread across Cole's lips and mused at the thought of what he was about to have done "as soon as possible. The quicker I can make her suffer again the better." With that he walked over to the single seat. Sitting down he began to chuckle a little. He was most looking forward to causing Phoebe pain again. "Serves the bitch right" He muttered to himself viciously. 

At Cole's sudden outburst of laughter Laris felt a little uneasy. 'He's almost as crazy as she is' he thought shaking his head a little. "I'll get right on it" He then disappeared in that same crimson vale leaving Cole to muse over what was about to happen.

  



	4. Part 3

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Treading Water- Part 3

Laris appeared in a cubicle in the male bathroom of the asylum. He quickly waved his hands around to dispel the crimson vale which accompanied him whenever he travelled demonically. That done he fixed his clothing, yet again putting the finishing touches to his doctor guise, pining his name tag back on.

He then exited the cubicle and with one last glance in the bathroom mirror he walked out into the hallway. It wouldn't take him long to reach Phoebe's cell and hopefully when he got there, no one else would be around or paying enough attention to notice what he was doing. The plan was simple; it would not take long to work after it was initiated. Laris smiled a little, he was just as eager to cause Phoebe pain as Cole was. A nice reward after being forced to watch her for months.

Soon Laris came to a halt outside Phoebe's cell. He took out his clipboard as well as a pen from his pocket and uncapped it. Placing pen to paper he leaned forward a little and peered in through the small window. 

Phoebe lay a little bit away in a foetal position, looking closer he could see that her face was slightly tear stained. At the moment her features were peaceful which only meant one thing. She was in her world again.

"Perfect!" Laris spoke in a loud whisper. He glanced about himself and saw no one near. Turning back to the window a wicked smile crept across his face.

Closing his eyes he put a hand to his forehead and concentrated on Phoebe. Concentrated on penetrating her mind, her world. With some people it was easier to access their minds, however most minds he accessed were sane ones, they had a certain order to them. Entering a psyche which was unstable was a whole other matter. These minds, minds like Phoebe's were much more jumbled; erratic and so it took a little longer to gain entry.

Finally Laris found himself in Phoebe's world, the world she created to escape to. He looked around himself and recognised immediately where he was. It was the infamous Halliwell Manor. The place was intact, as if no demon had ever frequented the place. It seemed much brighter; happiness filled ever nook and cranny. It oozed out of the walls. Next he heard voices coming from the room next to him. Slowly and carefully he made his way over to the wall and peeked around it. Sitting in front of him were the dead sisters plus Phoebe. She was sitting smiling, watching them as they spoke, taking in everything about them and obviously enjoying being in their presence. 

'Too bad it isn't real,' He thought with fake remorse. He knew what to do now. Pulling away from the wall he stood back a little, grinning. 'Time to bring the world from inside...outside.' Concentrating he began to use his power, work his magic so to speak, adding his own touches to this make believe world. He could manipulate a person's thoughts, fantasies and then make them see them for real, except they would be fashioned to what was necessary. It wouldn't be long before Phoebe saw her sisters, literally.

Once he was finished, for the moment, Laris began to carefully pull himself out of Phoebe's mind. When he was out he took a moment to shake off the effect using his power had on him, the world around him would be hazy, dreamlike for a few seconds before his full consciousness took over again. 

Gazing back through the window he stood patiently waiting for moment when the result of his actions became clear.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

Leo was awakened by a ringing in his head, not a ringing a person would perhaps have if they had drank a little too much alcohol, no this ringing belonged to the Elders. At this realisation Leo groaned and rolled over, he was still clutching onto the picture of his dead wife.

"What?" He asked in a hoarse whisper. "I though I told you to leave me alone!" He said his voice getting louder as he over articulated each word.

Sitting up Leo carefully placed the picture of Piper on the bedside table before looking upward "How many times do I have to tell you? How many? You never listen. Never!" As he yelled those last words saliva sprayed from his mouth, some of it trickled onto his chin.

Wiping it away roughly he attempted to scramble to the edge of the bed, his legs becoming even more entangled with the sheets. Annoyed at the twisted linen he grabbed onto it and wrenched it from around his legs and then pulled himself to the side of the bed, swinging his legs over it.

Putting his head in his hands he tried to ignore what the Elders were telling him but it was futile. 

"You don't understand. I can't do anything for her. I wont." Shaking his head a slightly Leo's thoughts flashed back a little in time

__

"Phoebe?" Leo called urgently as he entered the manor. Looking around he saw that his sister-in-law was nowhere in sight. That wasn't good. Ever since the incident with Cole she hadn't been the same, this of course probably wasn't helped much by the fact that Leo had brought her back to the manor. He had thought it would help but it had made things worse. Phoebe was balancing precariously on a thin piece of ice anything could make her fall into the freezing cold depths below. 

He glanced into the living room, she wasn't there. He ran through the hallway into the solarium, again she wasn't there. 'Phoebe where are you?' Leo thought to himself before he remembered his sensing ability. In the panic of trying to find her he'd completely forgotten about it.

Closing his eyes Leo reached out to her, searching for Phoebe's presence, her light. It was something that was always easy to find in the past but now that wasn't so. Eventually he found it; it was distant bit it was there. He frowned a little, this time it was faint but for another reason.

Acting quickly Leo dashed up the stairs and along to Phoebe's bedroom. When he got there he stood outside the door and braced himself for what he might see. His hand opened the door slowly and it was almost as if he watched what came next in slow motion.

The door finished opening. His eyes darted around. They settled upon her form. It was still. There was blood everywhere. Pooling around her. It was seeping from wounds on her wrists. She still clutched photographs of her sisters.

Blinking to bring him back to reality Leo rushed forward. "God! Phoebe no. This isn't the way." He placed his fingers to her neck, checking for a pulse. A smile crept across his face when he felt one, it was faint but it was there.

He took a moment to glance at the photos Phoebe held in her hand. One was of her with Piper and Paige, the other, of her and Prue. They were smiling. "Happier times," He whispered as he took hold of her wrist gently and began to heal the wound. Once that one was done he did the same with the other.

"Phoebe? Come on Phoebe. Wake up." Leo said while shaking her gently. As she began to stir he took the pictures from her hand and placed them to the side. "Phoebe," He said again but this time it was a little firmer.

"P...P-Prue?" Phoebe asked uncertainly, she was not yet fully aware of her surroundings.

"No Phoebe, I'm sorry, it isn't," He said moving some of her hair out of her eyes.

At this Phoebe's eyes shot open and stared directly into Leo's Blue meeting brown. "What the hell? Y-You healed me? Why Leo? Why?" She asked slightly angered but desperate.

"Phoebe I couldn't let you commit suicide, that is not the way to be with your sisters." Leo stated as gently as possible.

Phoebe moved away from Leo a little, out of his grasp but maintained eye contact with him. "How dare you!" She cried croakily. "How dare you bring me back? Leo I don't want to be here without them."

"I know you don't but when your time comes, your real time that is, you will get to be with them. Phoebe you have to live! If not for you then for them," He pleaded, looking into her eyes, searching for something, some sort of understanding of what he was saying but he found none.

She shook her head and laughed a little, "I can't believe this. I can't believe what you're saying."

"Phoebe.." Leo started but was cut off.

"No! You know what... no, all right," Phoebe said pointing a finger and standing up, Leo standing up with her. She looked him directly in the eye, "You lost the right to give me advice on that day."

"What do you mean?" He asked, unsure as to where she was going with this. He didn't want to see her like this. It upset him but he was also slightly angered and frustrated. Why wouldn't she listen to him? Why wouldn't she realise that what he was saying was the truth?

"What I mean Leo is you lost that right because on that day you failed them. All of them." She said with an almost nasty edge to her voice.

"Phoebe! What did you expect me to do? Cole appeared and massacred our family he almost go to you as well." Leo said desperately.

"Heh! It probably would've been better if you had let him take me." Phoebe muttered looking down but she looked back up again almost immediately. "Leo I expected you to save them. Not leave them there to die! You failed them again. . Just like when you failed to bring Prue back. You failed Piper just like you failed Prue."

Leo couldn't believe what she had just said. There had been no chanced of saving Paige or Piper. If there had been he would not have left them there to die. He loved them both, Piper more than anything. 

What Leo did next almost seemed as if he was watching himself do it. Before he knew it he had raised his hand and slapped Phoebe across the face. He couldn't stop himself, what she had said hand angered him so much the action was carried out over sheer emotion.. After he had done it he regretted it. The look of utter shock on her face. "Phoebe I..." He held out his hand to her but she shied away, a hand still over the spot where Leo's had struck her.

"Leo don't! Just... just leave me alone," She stated firmly looking at him with part fright, part hatred.

"Phoebe I didn't mean..." Leo was again cut off.

"Leo! Get out! Just leave me alone! " Phoebe yelled a bit more viciously but when this demand was met with no movement she screamed the words as loud as she could. "Get out. Get out. Get OUT!" She had then shrunk against the wall and slid down it visibly shaking, sobs coursing through her body. Her had still partially covered the area where Leo had slapped her.

Leo stood for a moment in slight disbelief as her outburst but eventually he left the room closing the door behind him. He stood for a moment staring at the door, "Phoebe I'm..." But he cut himself short and sighed. Shaking his head wearily he moved off in the direction of the room he once shared with his wife.

A firm jingle from the Elders brought him out of his memories. They were trying again. Trying to convince him that she needed his help. She may well be in danger but no, he was not going to go galloping to her rescue. He couldn't.

"For the last time no!" Leo yelled. "Can you not see? I can't save her, not anymore. Please, give it up," He pleaded one last time and this time it was met with silence. He smiled. Finally they had got the message. He then picked the picture of Piper off of the bedside table again and stared at it lovingly. "I'm taking care of everything. Don't worry soon everything will be fine."


	5. Part 4

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Treading Water-Part 4

A pain. A dull throbbing pain. One of those pains that you are always aware of but can forget about if there are more pressing matters to attend to. This pain, where was it coming from? Where? This was one of the most prominent thoughts on Phoebe's mind as her consciousness took over. Gradually she became aware that the origin of the pain was her head.

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She opened her eyes and let out a small groan. Not only was her head hurting but now her eyes were, from the light. Why did they have to make it so bright in her 'room'? It wasn't necessary. She'd be quite happy sitting in the dark or at least softer lighting. But no, then they wouldn't be able to see her properly, observe her. They thought she wasn't aware of them standing by the door, looking through that small window, staring, taking notes but she was.

****

Phoebe didn't like feeling like she was an animal in a zoo but she was exactly like that. They'd stand watching her every move, seeing what she would do next and if she got too rowdy in their opinion they'd come in and tame her. No, she wasn't an animal in a zoo she was like a lab rat. Being watched, written about and given a drug or two here and there.

Laughter escaped her lips at this thought. God she really was off the bend, not right in the head, a loony tune, insane, whichever name you thought best to use. Even she knew that some of her thoughts were strange. They were strange but rather funny at times. These amusing thoughts were some of the times where she didn't mind them so much but it was the other times, which made her wish she could stay in her world. Stay where everything was peaceful, where her sisters still breathed and were full of life. She longed for it to be real, longed to belong there, to live there permanently.

Tears began to well up in Phoebe's eyes again. This happened every time she wished for her world to be real. She'd cry here eyes out for it until she feel asleep or the doctors saw to her. Soon the tears were falling fast down her face as Phoebe worked herself up more and more.

"Phoebe..." A faint voice called.

Phoebe stopped sobbing for a second. She could have sworn she had heard someone call her name. Then again this wouldn't have been the first time she had heard voices. It was all part and parcel of being slightly off tilt.

"Phoebe..." There it was again! 

A look of confusion crossed her face. Was she really hearing things? She had to know. Slowly she sat up, blinking a little to clear the tears from her eyes. 

"Phoebe..." It came again.

The voice she was hearing sounded so familiar as if it belonged to someone she once knew. Turning around she could have sworn the voice belonged to...

"Prue!" Phoebe uttered in disbelief. Her hand made her way up to cover her mouth, she was too shocked to move, too shocked to do anything. Was Prue really standing there before her? Or was this another cruel trick of her mind.

"Phoebe," Prue said with a warm smile. She opened her arms wide and knelt down so she was eye level with her sister. "Come here."

Fresh tears fell down Phoebe's face as she rushed forward into her sister's waiting arms. "Prue! I-I can't believe it. I-I...Prue..." She spluttered through tears.

"Hey, shh shh. It's alright, I'm here," Prue said softly, stroking her sister's hair lightly.

"I...missed y-you so much," Phoebe cried into her sister's shoulder. She pulled herself as close to Prue as she physically could ,like you would if you were clinging to a life preserver. It was the thing that mattered most right now; she had to know that her sister was there.

"Phoebe, everything is all right. Everything is going to be just fine." Prue whispered while smoothing her sister's hair back from her face. She looked down into Phoebe's eyes and smiled reassuringly. 

Phoebe gazed up into her sister's blue eyes. Searching for the answer, the proof that everything would indeed be ok. If Prue said it then she could trust her word, right? But people just didn't come back from the dead or did they? Phoebe wasn't even sure anymore.

"Prue, there's something... I h-have to explain" Phoebe stated, still sobbing slightly.

"Phoebe you don't have to explain anything," Prue said hugging Phoebe a little more.

"Yes I do. I have to! Please! I-I need to... for me" Phoebe pleaded, her words rushed.

Prue looked away for a second before nodding, "Alright then."

Phoebe smiled and then pulled away a little, not looking at her sister. "It's... It's about your death. I've thought about that and other things a lot. Every day! It just goes round in my head. Taunting. It makes me wish that I'd just... " She trailed off for a second, taking a calming breath before continuing. "That day my world almost fell apart. I couldn't believe... accept it. I may have looked as if as I was fine but inside I was falling apart, I just put on a brave face, distanced myself. I regret that now. Piper blamed herself. Naturally, she would. She felt so guilty about being brought back when you weren't. She was blind... she could never see the truth..."

"Which was?" Prue asked, interrupting. 

Phoebe looked directly at Prue. "That it was my fault. If I had just of been there!" She yelled in annoyance. " But, no. I was too selfish. I had to go to the Underworld to save Cole, I wish I'd never done that now, otherwise none of this would've ever happened." She finished. The words she just spoke were some of the sanest to come out of her mouth in a long time. Phoebe looked at Prue expectantly, waiting for her sister to tell her what she had just said wasn't true, that she could never have predicted what was going to happen. 

"That's right. Everything you just said is true," Prue said with an almost too sweet smile on her face.

"W-what?" Phoebe asked in confusion. She had not expected her sister to agree with what she had said.

"That my death is your fault along with Piper and Paige's deaths. In fact everything that has happened from when I died has been your fault." Prue said viciously. 

"No! Prue stop! Don't!" Phoebe said backing up a little.

Prue stood up and began to walk towards her little sister who attempted to scramble away " Oh yes my dear sister I am quite justified by what I'm saying. You just admitted to your faults yourself so why are you denying it? Look at you, you're pathetic even more so than when I was still living. All you do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself, well boohoo. No one gives a shit about you and no one ever did, so deal with it!" Prue spat. She looked down at her sister; sweet smile turning into a sickly wicked one.

"P-Prue why are you saying this?" Phoebe asked in a small, almost child like voice. She was backed right into the wall, there was no where else for her to go. Did Prue really think that? Or was she just angry at the whole situation? Phoebe had failed her sisters, she hadn't vanquished Cole, and she hadn't taken him back, so he had sought revenge, 

"Because it's the truth and you need to hear it. I'm sick of you. Half the time when I was alive I couldn't stand you and neither could your sisters. It's your fault they're dead and it's you're fault that I'm dead! All your fault, just like everything else!" Prue said leaning forward so she was closer to her sister's face.

"No!" Phoebe screamed, "No! no! No! NO!" She then lunged for Prue but all that she hit was air. She fell onto the floor in a heap, breathing hard. What had just happened? Where had Prue gone or had she ever been there in the first place? These were the questions which plagued Phoebe's mind as she cried herself into a restless sleep. 

~ ~ ~ ~

Laris watched the scene before him unfold, a sickly smile spreading across his face as it played out. Everything had gone as planned, Phoebe had begun to hallucinate, it was almost too perfect. 

Naturally anyone else watching would just think that Phoebe had gone round the bend and came back for a second round. They would believe her to be more insane than she already was. Of course Laris could see what was happening. His power was the catalyst. It was only a matter of time before things gained momentum, like an avalanche it would soon become destructive.

A small laugh escaped his lips as it occurred to him how much Cole would love to witness this. After all the former Source was the brains behind the operation. Laris knew how much Phoebe's suffering would amuse yet pain Cole. 

Satisfied by what he had seen Laris turned and began to walk in the direction of the male bathroom. He knew it was wise to report to Cole sooner rather than later.


	6. Part 5

****

Treading Water - Part 5

The sound of a bell rang through his head, it sounded like a wind chime does as a small breeze blows through it. Leo frowned; he was caught up in the hazy world between the waking and the sleeping one. It almost felt as if he was wrapped in cotton wool, its softness preventing anything from reaching his senses. 

The bell chimed again, this time only louder and, brought Leo a little closer to the land of the waking but, he was still too deep in the other to respond.

A final, more urgent ring brought Leo crashing down to Earth. The pleasant 'cotton wool' feeling shattered like a mirror and lay in shards before him. He was now forced to face reality as The Elders dragged a reluctant Leo to the land above the clouds in which they resided.

~ ~ ~ ~

He lay in a heap before them, not yet willing to look at the faces of those he had once served. They would have to force him to face up to them, they would have to physically make him look upon them, or so he thought.

"Leo," A voice called in a gentle tone.

Leo shook his head in dismissal of the instinctive urge he had to do whatever 'they' said. No. He had sworn a long time ago to never again server them. What happened that day had been the last straw. However, he wasn't allowed to stay in his train of thought for long. 

"Leo!" This time the gentle voice took on a more commanding tone.

It was this tone, this edge, to the voice, which made him look upon the face of one of the ones he once served. The hood of the golden robe had been thrown back in order to make things seem a little more pleasant and welcoming to Leo. All around more of his former masters stood, all with their hoods back from their faces, their robes caught the light and it seemed as if they were shimmering pools of stardust. 

"Leo, we brought you here in the hope you would respond better to us. I know this has been hard on you an---" He was cut off mid sentence.

"Hard? You don't know anything! How can you understand when all you do is sit up here and play God. Do you have any idea what it is like to watch your whole family being slaughtered before your eyes? What it's like to watch as your wife is murdered? See her take her last, agonising breath and know that you have failed her?" Leo spat. He pulled himself into a standing position slowly, his gaze wary. 

The Elder sighed; he could tell this was going to be harder than they first thought. "All right, perhaps we don't understand but you must realise that you still have a charge who is alive and in need your help."

"No! For the last time no! I can't help her anymore," Leo stated, looking The Elder in the eye.

"Why?" The Elder asked in a calm nature.

Leo sighed heavily and turned away for a second. "You want to know so badly?" He asked with a glance towards the group of Elders who simply nodded. "Fine. I'll tell you..."

__

Leo sighed as he came downstairs and into the living room of the manor. The place was a mess, more so than it would have been if Piper were still alive. He had no time to clean it himself, from talking to The Elders to trying to keep Phoebe from harming herself. In recent months she had become a lot worse and had taken refuge in the basement. All she did was sit in a corner and no matter how hard Leo tried to convince her to come out she wouldn't, screaming at him to stay away from her.

He picked up a few discarded cartons and pushed the table back into place. It had been knocked over the last time Phoebe had an episode, before the basement became her permanent residence. She was sitting on the couch watching the TV, he had thought it was time they cleared out some of her sisters things from the Manor and of course she hadn't taken it too well. It was this day, which caused her to run down to the basement swearing that if he came near her she'd kill him.

With a shake of his head he made his way through to the kitchen and put some cereal into a plastic bowl, followed by the milk and lastly a plastic spoon. He had stopped using real crockery and cutlery with Phoebe a while ago, there was only so much they could afford to have broken. 

After a quick draw in of breath Leo opened the door to the basement and then made his way down the wooden steps carefully.

"Phoebe" Leo called softly but was met with no answer. Despite the fact that it was rather bright outside the basement still held a lot of shadows, all of which Phoebe could be hiding in.

"Phoebe" He tried again but this time a little stronger.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone?" The voice was cold, nothing like what it used to be.

"I know, but you need to eat. I brought you some cereal." He said walking towards the source of the voice. In the dark corner he could just make out her shape and as he got closer he could see what a mess she was although her eyes remained hidden as her face was down cast. Her hair was greasy and all over the place, nothing like when she kept it neat, her clothes were tattered and soiled and he was sure her face was tear stained. 

"I don't want anything to eat. I just want to be left alone." She said in a voice, which was all too calm. 

Leo reached her and crouched before her. "Phoebe, please, you haven't eaten in days." Slowly he moved the bowl towards her until it was just a few inches from her face.

Phoebe lifted her head up so she could look at the bowl; her dark eyes examined its surface and the contents within. After a thorough examination of the food she took the bowl off of Leo slowly and cradled it in an arm. She continued staring at it as if she was still contemplating the process of eating.

"Here," Leo said handing her the spoon. When she took her he smiled a little.

With the bowl cradled in one hand and the spoon in the other Phoebe dug into the cereal, as if she was digging a hole, and put the heap on top of the spoon into her mouth. As she chewed she was aware of Leo watching her; he never left her alone, always observing and taking note of her every move. She was sick of it. With a quick glance at the spoon she put the bowl down next to her.

"Phoebe, you can't be finished."

She didn't answer him, just continued to look at the spoon. 

Leo put a hand on her shoulder as he spoke, "Phoebe come on, just a few more mouthfuls and that'll do for now."

She nodded a little and put her other hand onto the head of the spoon

"That's a good girl," Leo said in a patronising tone and rubbed her shoulder a little.

Phoebe closed her eyes for a second and knowing Leo was slightly distracted with getting her to eat she broke off the head of the spoon discretely. With a quick glance at Leo to make sure he was still unaware of her plan she raised her hand and swiped at his face with the spoon.

Leo let out a yell of surprise and pain. He leapt back from Phoebe, a hand on his face, and looked at her, his anger building. "What the hell are you playing at?"

She stood up using the wall for support and held the hand, which contained the remains of the spoon out shakily. Its jagged edge was stained with fresh blood, Leo's blood. "I told_ you to stay away from me. But did you listen? No! Now you know I'm serious, so get out."_

"Phoebe, I'm only trying to take care of you," He tried one last time.

"Well I don't want to be taken care of. You'd think you would've got that by now." She screamed. 

For Leo, this incident was the last straw. He was sick of having to put up with her, he didn't deserve this. He strode towards her and grabbed the hand, which held the broken spoon tightly, so tightly that she dropped it. She brought her hand up to grab Leo's own but he took hold of that one too.

"Ow! Let me go. Leo, you're hurting me." Phoebe pleaded as she tried to pull her hands out of Leo's grip.

"Hurting you? You're the one who took a chunk out of my face. I'm sick of having to take care of you. You... ungrateful little wench." Leo hissed in her face.

"Leo, please! I'm sorry. I won't do it again, just let me go," Phoebe pleaded again and struggled against his hold. This only caused Leo to tighten his hold on her again. "Leo! Please!"

"No! You're going to listen to me and listen very carefully," He said, his face now as close to hers as physically possible. "I do not have to put up with this, ok? Yet I do but today, today you've pushed me to the limit."

"Then why do you put up with me?" Phoebe asked him, looking him directly in the eye.

"Why? Why..." Leo stopped for a second and looked down. "I'll tell you why. Because of her! Piper. Your her sister and I'm obligated to take care of you because of that. As far as I'm concerned you can rot in hell. No, no you can rot in hell with Cole! It's your fault she's dead, all yours. If it wasn't for you and your demon boy then she'd still be alive and with me." He shoved her away roughly.

Phoebe fell against the wall and slipped down it but her gaze never wavered from Leo. Her eyes had begun to brim with tears as Leo yelled at her.

Leo looked at Phoebe and shook his head "I can't ..." He sighed and then made his way towards the wooden steps but stopped a quarter of the way up them.

Thinking Leo had left Phoebe allowed her tears to fall, she allowed the sobs to course through her body, she curled herself up into a ball and she began to rock a little. "Why...why did this happen to me?"

Leo heard her as she cried yet again and he heard what she had said. "I can't," He repeated and then finished his journey out of the basement.

Leo looked at The Elders, "Now can you see? Now can see you why I can't help her? I gave up on her a long time ago and I don't intend to go back. She's safe where she is."

"No she isn't Leo. That is why we have been calling you. We have reason to believe Cole is involved in--"

"I do not care!" Leo yelled.

"Leo! If you do not help her something terrible will happen." The Elder stated.

"Why do _I_ have to help her? Why me? Send someone else."

"She is your charge and--" The Elder was cut off again.

"Not anymore," Leo said in a low voice and orbed out, not allowing The Elder to finish his sentence off in Leo's presence. 

The Elder sighed, "and it is the only way to save both of you."


End file.
